Monday, May 16, 2016


This year was my first official Mother's Day! As my present, my son woke up at 4:45 am! Happy Mother's Day to you, Frances. My husband was nice enough to take care of him until 7 am, then he brought him to my bed. Up until that day, I had nursed him in the morning, while we snuggled together. As I laid in bed with my son happily nursing, almost falling asleep from a milk induced coma, I started to cry a bit. Not because it was Mother's Day but because I knew that was the last time I was going to nurse my son. It was going to be the last time he would drift to sleep while still latched. The last time I would feed him with my body. The very last latch! A world of emotions came pouring down! I felt so grateful I was able to breastfeed for as long as I did. I only planned to do so for 6 months and was able to nurse him for 9 1/2 months! Before having him, I didn't know the incredible connection you have with your child when you breastfeed. I took a couple of pictures of that last nursing session. Time stood still and I held to that moment for as long as I could. And then it happened, he fell completely asleep and unlatched for the very last time! 

Even as a write this, tears are pouring down. I get so emotional about it, although I know it was time for us to move forward. The next morning, my son woke up and my husband went to get him as I went downstairs and made a bottle for him. I gave him the bottle on our bed, snuggled like always, the only difference was the bottle. He was happy and content and drifted to sleep without even noticing momma was no longer nursing him. And so life kept going. He is still a happy boy. He still looks for me for comfort. He still snuggles for two hours in the morning on my bed. Nothing has changed in his eyes. For that I am grateful. I was so worried that he was not going to adjust but he did, he was ready to wean. 

As for me, I am still dealing with the aftermath of not nursing anymore. I had some engorgement for a couple of days but now it is bearable. Life is the same. Emotions have settled down and I am happy again. I do miss nursing but at the same time, I am happy I have a bit more flexibility. Breastfeeding was an amazing experience. At the beginning I struggled with low milk supply, soreness, bleeding, latch problems and vasospasms, but I am so happy I powered through! I gave my son a wonderful gift, and I feel he, in return, gave me the satisfaction that I did it. Not all women are as lucky as I am to nurse their babies. Some struggle so much they have to stop and formula feed (which is also totally fine). For any woman who is struggling with nursing, if you really want to do it, power through, don't give up and surround yourself with a supporting group. That's what I did. I had my husband who was incredibly supportive and an amazing friend who gave me the strength to keep on going and encouraged me. She listened and gave me her advise. I even sent her pictures to see if she could tell me what was going on with my latch and my ladies... I am so grateful for her and for my support group! 

If I have another baby, I will most certainly endure all of this again. It was so worth it! My son thrived and with every pound he gained I felt prouder because I know that was 100% me! With every roll of fat he had, with every milestone he reached, I felt like a super mom! Now things are a bit different but also the same. Different because I have to mix formula and feed him a bottle but they are the same because his attitude towards his mommy and our relationship is the same. 

I hope by sharing my journey, some of you felt comfort in knowing that you are not alone. That it is a very draining yet satisfying experience. If you are nursing your baby, you go momma! Pat yourself in the back, because it is not easy! If you are about to wean, you can do it, and give yourself time to get used to it. Don't rush it. I am happy with my approach.
Stay strong!

1 comment:

  1. Hi!! I'm finally able to sit down and browse through your blog. I stumbled upon this and I couldn't help but tear up. I still nurse Lucas, even at 15 weeks pregnant and know all too well the feeling of wanting freedom and yet the fear of "losing" that bond. This is such a good post, I'm glad he took it that well, I'm afraid it won't be like that for me, I don't know I just feel like he has to be ready to wean before I even think of weaning him myself. I obviously love all things baby and breastfeeding related. Congratulations on such a beautiful journey and just like you said it is a very draining yet satisfying experience.


Please be nice